Freewriting from Class

Where do you feel like you are understood?

The place I feel most understood is definitely in my home in Sebring, Florida. The saying goes “there is no place like home” and that truly resonates with me. Within my first few days at Florida State I heard kids talk about how they are so glad to be out of the house and that their parents are too. I can not relate to this whatsoever!! I knew even before I moved out that I would miss my family. I am aware that my deepest friendships are found within my immediate family. Do not misunderstand, I have plenty of amazing friends back home, but the only relationships that I am 100% certain will last forever are the ones I have with my dad, mom, and sister. I love almost every second I am with them. We laugh constantly when we’re together. It sucks not really having people like that here with me because I do not have those people that I can laugh about stuff with. So I have basically gone a whole week without laughing, except the times I was on the phone with someone in my family. They are the only people who have really understood me. They know the reason why I might start laughing while looking at something that others would not laugh at. They are the only people that really know who I am. Others look at me and see a girl. They look at me and see a soul - all my mistakes, my accomplishments, my dreams, my quirks, and my passions.

2. Where do you feel spoken to?

I feel spoken to in many places I would. Yes, in the church I feel spoken to, as many do. But I also feel spoken to in the quiet times. I feel similar sensations while looking up at the stars at night. I feel it when watching the sunset, or a thunderstorm in the New Mexico desert on a rainless night. Mostly I feel those goosebumps rise when I see compassion. It is in the littlest moments that I feel completely whole and inspired. It is when I see people being kind to each for no reason that I feel most spoken to. Like when my mom told me she would call me back later because she was going to buy the homeless man outside of Publix a meal. Or when I see my sister mail in a check every month to support a girl in Africa to be able to attend school.

3. Where is it complicated?

I feel it is complicated in my new college life. I have only been here for a week so I do not have a sense of belonging yet. Part of me feels lost, but part of me remembers how I much I wanted to attend school here. So I will push on until it is no longer complicated.